22 Things You Can Do To Improve Your Sex Life
Go dancing.
Whether you go by yourself or with a partner, whether you
dance well or not, dancing creates sex appeal. It’s also an easy way to meet
people. Dancing also builds confidence which is extremely important to a good
sex life.
Work Out.
Working out helps create a sexy body. It gives you the
energy and stamina to have sex for long periods of time. It gives you
flexibility to get into some of those positions you’ve often wondered about. You
feel better about yourself when you work out causing you to be able to get in
the mood more often. Couples working out together can create a tighter bond in
their relationship. Working out also boosts your self-esteem which is a critical
component to having a good sex life.
Music.
There are all types of music and ways that it can help in
the sex department. During the physical sex act itself, just the rhythm of music
can synchronize your internal physiological state and cause you to be in perfect
timing with each other. Music can create the mood for sex, particularly some
Sade or Marvin Gaye. Very tranquil music can also create an atmosphere of peace
and calm which can be a nice setting for sex. Additionally the words within some
songs trigger emotions and feelings of sensuality.
Learn various ways to give yourself an orgasm.
In most cases,
until you learn how to do it yourself, no one else can do it for you. Sometimes
there are a variety of ways to stimulate yourself to an orgasm. It helps to know
what feels good first before trying to show somebody else or much less explain
it to them. Then, teach your partner how to give you an orgasm. Before delving
straight into intercourse, one of the best and easiest ways to develop intimacy
and mutual pleasure is to show your partner those various ways you like to be
touched and have them bring you to orgasm both manually and orally.
Communicate.
Challenge yourself to give very specific
requests to your partner to perform sexual pleasures. Use only verbal
instructions, without showing them or touching them. Don’t ever give up. This is
a great exercise to learn to see the results of what you are communicating.
Play games.
If you want to lighten things up a bit or bring about a
little variety to your sex life, play a sex game. There are plenty of games you
can buy at game stores or online that will stimulate anyone’s fancy. You can
play them one-on-one or you can play with a group of people. They can be fun and
arousing. They are designed to break up any nervous tension you might have about
trying new things. You can also play other “regular” games like monopoly or
poker with a spin. Be creative.
Share fantasy’s.
Make it a point to tell each other at least
one fantasy that you can imagine them filling one day. Make it safe to share by
listening to their fantasy. Be vulnerable when sharing. Sometimes it helps to
explain how the fantasy came about. Don’t share any fantasy’s that you are not
sure you are ready to experience because this could lead to a misunderstanding.
Or at least be very specific that you are not ready for that fantasy to be
fulfilled.
Positions.
There are hundreds, if not thousands of books on the
various sexual positions. Every bedroom should be equipped with at least one.
When you get bored with your more “typical” positions, you can simply go to the
book and find something new to try together. Sometimes it may be just for the
fun or challenge of it and wont necessarily lead to orgasm. Trying new positions
together may generate laughter and is also a form of bonding and intimacy.
Wear sexy clothes.
Do you find yourself getting comfortable in
the company of your partner, wearing oversized around-the-house clothing. Do you
remember how you dressed when you first met? There’s something sexy about
dressing up for each other. It shows care and consideration and when you put
some effort into how you look, like it did when you first met.
Be honest about what turns you on and what doesn’t.
If there’s that
one thing your partner keeps doing that you really don’t get any excitement
from, it’s better to tell them than to stay frustrated. Also, if there is
something you think you’d really like for them to do with you, tell them.
Confidence is extremely important to a good sex life.
Freshen up.
Good hygiene is important and sexy. It’s a great habit to
always be prepared to be kissed all over your body. Make sure your mouth is
clean and that your genitals are clean. You never know when you’ll be caught in
the mood and it’s so much nicer for the kisser and as well as the one being
kissed to know that you are clean and fresh.
Sensual Massage.
This is one great way to get in the mood or
put your partner in the mood. Once the massage begins with the back, then the
back of the legs, you can lead to other more sensitive parts of the body. You
can use sensual oils and aromatherapy oils to aid in creating that special state
of mind. Sometimes just the relaxing effect of a massage can calm you down
enough to feel those intimate feelings. A word of caution however, you can go
overboard with relaxing your partner and put them right to sleep so make sure
you incorporate something in your technique to keep them and yourself aroused.
Leave love notes.
There is something stimulating, simply
knowing that your partner was thoughtful enough to write down on paper that he
or she is thinking about you. - Leaving love notes describing how sexy they are
or what you have planned to do with their body that night is very sexy.
Look into each others eyes.
That’s right, it’s okay to peek when
you’re kissing and especially when you are making love. Try to keep your eyes
open and look into your partners eyes right at the point of orgasm. Always look
into your partners eyes when speaking with them.
Practice deep breathing.
You can actually get a little more
stimulation just from the way you breath. You can take in a deep breath and
imagine as you are inhaling, sending the breath down to your genitals. It is
amazing what happens. You can not only increase the feelings of stimulation, but
you wake up the kundilini (Sexual) energy. Some people can have orgasms by deep
breathing with no other stimulation at all.
Practice Visualization.
Visualize yourself having the best orgasm of
your life. Also visualize this for your partner. Mentally rehearse for great
sex. Visualize your body parts being stimulated with sexual energy. See yourself
as a great lover.
Take time for yourself.
It takes energy to be around other people.
Sometimes we feed off of each others energy. Other times it’s out of balance and
so the demands of being around another person or the same person all the time
can take it.
Watching a Romantic Movie.
Can definately rekindle that romantic
sparkle. Gives you creative ideas to bring the romance back into your life,
which ultimately leads to more pleasureable sex.
Communicate.
Challenge yourself to give very specific
requests to your partner to perform sexual pleasures. Use only verbal
instructions, without showing them or touching them. Don’t ever give up. This is
a great exercise to learn to see the results of what you are communicating.
Take a Retreat together.
Maybe one where you learn about Tantric Sex
or Kuma Sutra. But any kind of personal growth retreat will certainly deepen the
emotional and spiritual bonds and invite more passion into your life.
Share fantasy’s.
Make it a point to tell each other at least
one fantasy that you can imagine them filling one day. Make it safe to share by
listening to their fantasy. Be vulnerable when sharing. Sometimes it helps to
explain how the fantasy came about. Don’t share any fantasy’s t every crevasse
of each others bodies. You can do this one at the same time or take turns being
the one being explored. Put your finger into their belly button, not too deep.
Examine their genitals very thoroughly and explore the anus. Notice every
freckle and every scar. You can reach new levels of intimacy by exploring the
body at new levels.
Take a bubble bath together.
There is almost nothing more sexually
arousing than to sit in a warm bubble bath together. The intimacy of sitting
naked in the same bath water creates a wonderful bond. It gets particularly
arousing when you include washing each others bodies, paying particular
attention to the genital area.