Being the Best Father You Can Be

We think all fathers want to be the best father they can possible be, but if you are a first time father, it can all be a little intimidating. Here are a few ideas to help you become the best father you can be.

Take the initiative

Many new fathers struggle to take the initiative to be actively involved in the easing of their children from when they are young. Change diapers and help feed and bath the baby. These are possible the best ways of bonding with your new baby.

Ask Questions

We think that most men just assume that their partner automatically knows more than they do about raising a child. This may not be the case, as most of the time the mother has no choice but to do all the little things. Ask questions when she is changing a diaper, or bathing the baby. The only way you are going to be able to know what needs to be done is to ask questions, which will allow you to spend more bonding time with your new born baby.

Play with your children

Playing with your children, teaches them a variety of different important lessons, as well as giving you physical contact with your child. Father play can be a good way to teach your child about regulating emotions, such as excitement and arousal.

Emotional Contact

Emotions can be picked up very quickly by children. Make your emotions towards your child known. Children need to be shown that they are loved, they don't just assume you love them, unless you show them that you do in fact love them.

Be Available

Being available to your children on more than just the weekends is very important. They need to know that you will always be available to them, no matter what time. It also allows you to be more actively involved at all times and for all situations.

Respect

Respect for you partner is just as important as having respect for your children. Not only will this allow your relationship with your partner to flourish, but your children will pick up on this. A happy family is always a loving family.

Communication

Communication is the key to any family or relationship. This goes for being a father as well. In order to be a good father means that you and your partner need to communicate and work together to make decisions that involve your children.

Praising your children

Children love to show you what they have made or done, and it is important for them to seek your approval. Praise your children for what they do, no matter how simple it may seem to you. Remember that they are learning things that are new to them, even though it is old hat for you.

Becoming a father for the first time can be a unbelievable experience, but it can also be a time of great stress and worry for a new father.

You may begin to doubt your abilities as a father, are you doing the best you can, can I be a good father to my baby? Family finances and health can always lead to stress and worry.

So here are a few typical factors that cause a father to worry, and how to deal with them.

General Farther Worries

Your partner has become unavailable to you. Either on an emotional, physical or sexual level
You believe you are strong enough to handle your own worries
Few friends outside your family that you may feel comfortable talking to about your problems
You feel that parenthood is not for you.

Solutions

Talk to your partner about your feelings and concerns
Try and get involved in raising your baby as much as possible and as soon as possible.
Talk to other fathers about your concerns and experiences

What your partner can do

Talk to him about his feelings and concerns
Let him spend time alone with him/her.
Let him bath and change the baby
Make time for the two of you to spend quality time together

Rekindling the Romance

Rekindling the romance post pregnancy is often difficult, mainly because your partner has a new focus in her life that requires constant attention and love. Your partner may not feel sexy, she is going to be feeling tired and her energy levels may even be low.

There are many questions and factors that will come in to play, so we will try and help you solve these.

How long after pregnancy can you have sex?

There are now hard and fast rules to this question, although many doctors will say not at least for the first six weeks. However, it really only comes down to one person, your partner. Your partner will let you know when she is ready, and you should respect that.

In most cases, your partner is going to be busy doting over your new little bundle of joy, you are now firmly in the back seat. The best thing for you is to spend time with your partner, helping with your baby. Not only should this be a time for you to bond with your baby, but for you to bond as a family.

You've tried all your old moves, and your aren't getting anywhere

You need to remember that your relationship with your partner has gone to another level now. Some of the old tricks you used to try won't get you anywhere, if fact some may get you even further away from getting lucky.

You may need to rekindle the romance, and I mean this in the purest sense. Dinner, movies and a walk in the park under a full moon stuff. You need to make your partner feel loved, special and the only person in the world again.

Sex Appeal

Your partner may feel as though she's lost her sex appeal to everyone, and hey it can be hard to feel sexy after pregnancy, and when you smell of vomit. Try and make some time for you and your partner to get out and about for a little exercise, even if it is only a brisk stroll. You may be amazed at hour a little exercise can make a person feel good.

After pregnancy, you need to make your wife feel good. Make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman in the world.

Breasts and Milk

For some men, their partners breasts spurting milk can be a huge put off. There are solutions to this though.

Your partner can keep her bra on, or to spice things up a little the two of you may even go shopping for sexy lingerie. You could also try a little romance after your partner has fed your little bundle of joy, that way, her breasts should be a less full, and less likely to start spurting milk at that crucial moment.

There are also the possibilities that the fact that your wife squirting milk may even be a turn on. If this is the case, then you should speak to your partner about it, but remember to be careful as it is fairly easy for infection and bacteria to enter her breast, and cause harm to your little one.

Sex and a crying baby

If every time you and your partner start thinking about sex, your baby starts crying. There are simple solutions to this though.

Find a good reliable baby sitter that the two of you feel comfortable with, and have a romantic evening together. Get away from your usual setting. Take a week end away in the country side, or at a hotel. The change of setting may do some really great things for rekindling that dwindling romance.

Do's and Don'ts for rekindling the romance

Arrange a romantic getaway
Take time to look after your baby, so she can relax, have her hair done or just go and have a relaxing bath.
Make her feel as beautiful as you think she is. She may not know that you still feel attracted to her
Spoil her with a little gift every now and then

Don't

Complain
Beg
Compare her body to what it used to look like
Expect her to give you what you want all the time